self portrait #24: artist

self portrait #24 : artist


as an artist, i live,
by necessity, on
slim hope and/or
fickle inspiration
so luckless paths
are no stranger to
me. when i discover
my partner is dead
i just go on alone.


JANEisnotplain 4.13.09

in reference to the current state of medicine.

self portrait # 23 : thirty five

self portrait # 23 : thirty five

each new year is
crowding out the last.

soon, i’ll be alone in
a room full of selves
i have never met.


JANEisnotplain 3.19.09

happy birthday

self portrait: 35th birthday

i have
ended/begun
thirty five times

JANEisnotplain 3.19.09
part of the 0330 am project

self portrait # 22 : free time

self portrait # 22 : free time


my soul is made of tissue paper and words that
i have dreamed of capturing on paper to set me

free

i am a thousand faces in a crowded street
following in footsteps that have not yet been made
i reach for trees from porch steps to feel their glow
sink into my rhythm and imbibe their colors
i inhale the soft ocean and exhale hues and shades
i like to watch the sky connect the clouds of mind
dancing in doorways connecting joy and discord
i fall inside/outside the patterns of repetitious heartbeats
singing an echo of an ever changing life-

time

JANEisnotplain 3.27.09

completed while enjoying the waves in miami

self portrait#21: 3.13.09

self portrait #21: 3.13.09


i am not this painting
not this messy un-raveling
thing dripping red and orange
all over the page.

something is gnawing on
the inside. something is
liquefying me and
immobilizing me and.

eating doesn’t help and
running doesn’t help and
sex doesn’t help and.

i crave passion.
i hate silence.

why did [] this to me?
why did [] cut so deep?

[don’t] say something or
[just] fuck off


JANEisnotplain 3.13.09

self portrait # 20: want ad

self portrait # 20: want ad

i am i and no one else.
i am the sum of atoms and
a sum of seconds. i cannot
transfer completely to someone else.

i string words with care
and pisceanly realize that
things can be communicated in
other more complete ways.

i have depth of beauty in form and ideas.
i am not a highheelstitbitch.
i wear flats among dandelions
and sometimes that is all.

art saves me from science. and
science saves me from art.

i have all the right potentials.
i just need an equal to
close circles in me.











JANEisnotplain 12/26.08

self portrait #19 : identity

self portrait #19 : identity

to love a woman who is

a woman in every sense but

who acts like a man to

the woman who wants to

love the woman in her in every sense

but, i am not a man and

i know this and she knows this

she may play the part of

the shy deviant boy but

i am every hopelessly helpless boy

that i have ever dated, hat in hands

reciting sonnets under balconies,

selling proposals without diamonds

i know this and she knows this

the truth is that,

at the end of the day i am

too complicated, too imaginative,

too introverted, too frustrated

she is too sweet, too kind,

too

to bring out the lover

she knows is inside me

i know is inside of her

JANEisnotplain 10.08

self portrait #18: post r

self portrait #18: post r

vital signs


pulse: irregular; uneven

pressure: heavy ; onerous

respirations: shallow; choking

saturation: depleted; empty

temperature: hot; cold



physical exam

head: unclear; with evidence of trauma

eyes: crying; unfocused

heart: bruised; some parts absent

lungs: black; unclean

abdomen: ulcerated; raw

extremities: amputated; immobile

neurologic: short circuited


assessment/impression

septic

decaying

dying

copyright JANEisnotplain 9.08