self portrait #12: fall nightmare

self portrait #12: fall nightmare



i am running through my
nightmares wearing flip flops
and all i can hear is
breathe, flap, breathe, flap
flap, breathe, breathe, flap
across a cold linoleum floor
stacked with the smell of papers
of books, newspapers, notebooks
slouched in the flickering fluorescent lights
like next year’s junk addicts
flap flap flap flap
breathe!
and if i stop i hear the
buzzing of my PC
sitting and looking at me for answers
just the way i look at myself
just after brushing my teeth
in the morning or in the
evening after listening to
the radio/television propaganda
the semicolon weight of the words
awake!
flap, breathe, flap, breathe



copyright JANEisnotplain 10.06

self portrait #11: self evaluation

self portrait #11: self evaluation

in my obscure act of living watchful eyes fall mute
never joys of self denied time passes blithely
by persuasion i am a challenging being

my smile has grown lewd with depravity
my growth does not need restraint anymore
i am fed with sour doubt and terror

in soothing words and touches of care
i have felt only poor relief from
the asperity of being and the despair of being not.

suffers the bud under the pressure of fate
to break the sprout and stretch out into the air
to grow accustomed to the confirming confinement.

because i wish to break open the pain
the ice cold blade of thought incises the abscess
perhaps that will free the pleasure?

copywrite JANE 6.06

self portrait # 10 Reflection 06.06.

self portrait # 10 Reflection 06.06.

my senses are embedded

deep within mind’s monastery of

monks scribbling to focus and copy

texts of my emotions into a

record of  feeling some reality

felt in a subconscious unable to wake

from dreams of disappearing

heart beats on canvas skin of

irreplaceable prints of significance

every one a unique identity of me

JANEisnotplain 6.06

SELF PORTRAIT #9 : IF I WERE A PAINTING

self portrait #9: if i were a painting


if i were a painting
i’d be blurred contours
thick with texture and mystery

id be of limited colour
with smudged grey outlines
and razor sharp white streaks
added as an afterthought

i would not be done with precision
but abstract and surreal
a conceptual work instead of
clear and defined

id be loving irony
in soft diminutive glimpses
of paradise blues

id be thin vivid lines of
orange and yellow worked over
red glimpses through thick
grey and black minutes
forced into green shadows

my mind would be
empty boxes with blue lines
pointing to something like
the soul

my heart would be a
red square in black lines
beating difference


i would be studied
but never understood
and it would be never
before anyone noticed the
viole[n]t streak in this
backdrop of red
worked over black

copyright JANEisnotplain 2006

SELF PORTRAIT #8: AND

self portrait # 8: and


and she’s beautiful
and she’s unsettling
and she writes in big words
and she dots i’s and crosses t’s
and she doesn’t want to be touched by just anyone
and she doesn’t want to be seen

and she wants
to be adored
to be idolized
to be felt
to be heard
to be loved intimately

andandandand
and she is writing
and she is living
and she is dying
and she is
and

she
is

and that

is

all

copyright JANEisnotplain 18.11.06

SELF PORTRAIT # 7 : ASYMPTOTE

self portrait # 7: asymptote



stack of books
six editions thick
resting on each shoulder blade
weight the pressure

grey damp road
thick white centered line
marking the margins of expectations
balance attributes accordingly charged

baking light
fire from red dust everywhere
causes eyes to cast inward
the heat of fever encapsulates

weak failing medium
un-utilized calculator
living five feet from the ground
drawn in lines of asymptotes


copyright JANEisnotplain 18.11.06

from dream book, recurrent nightmares